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so-nerdy-it-hurts:

There are over 526 million black women in the world, all with different appearances, and your racist ass is going to say not liking black women is a ‘preference’, when the only damn thing they all got in common physically is their blackness? Sure, honey. 

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I read several dozen stories a year from miserable, lonely guys who insist that women won’t come near them despite the fact that they are just the nicest guys in the world.

..I’m asking what do you offer? Are you smart? Funny? Interesting? Talented? Ambitious? Creative? OK, now what do you do to demonstrate those attributes to the world? Don’t say that you’re a nice guy — that’s the bare minimum.

“Well, I’m not sexist or racist or greedy or shallow or abusive! Not like those other douchebags!”

I’m sorry, I know that this is hard to hear, but if all you can do is list a bunch of faults you don’t have, then back the fuck away..

..Don’t complain about how girls fall for jerks; they fall for those jerks because those jerks have other things they can offer. “But I’m a great listener!” Are you? Because you’re willing to sit quietly in exchange for the chance to be in the proximity of a pretty girl (and spend every second imagining how soft her skin must be)? Well guess what, there’s another guy in her life who also knows how to do that, and he can play the guitar. Saying that you’re a nice guy is like a restaurant whose only selling point is that the food doesn’t make you sick. You’re like a new movie whose title is This Movie Is in English, and its tagline is “The actors are clearly visible”.

-- David Wong, 6 Harsh Truths That Will Make You a Better Person  (via coolgrandpa)

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ouijabored:

Harley Quinn in Harley Quinn Invades Comic-Con International: San Diego #1

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l-m-pandora:

Remember, reality is an illusion, the universe is a hologram, buy gold, bye!

The symbols matching the characters here aren’t 100% sure (since Bill only proved three, which are Mabel’s, Dipper’s and Soos’) so I just went with what most of the fans speculated about the symbols (I didn’t add the Llama because there would be two Mabel’s, and there’s also a theory that Dipper is the ice as well, but yeah, same reason with Mabel’s) there are two Stan’s because there’s also this theory going around that he has a twin. So there you go!

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tehjai:

steel-plated-hearts:

a kid at hogwarts who just wants to get a proper education but can’t focus because of all of the shit harry potter and his friends keep getting themselves into

Jenna B. Lacey, age eleven, knew exactly what she was going to do with her life.

She was going to go to Hogwarts, get top grades, and be the youngest female Minister of Magic by age 35.

It would have been a good plan, if she hadn’t been in the same year as Harry Potter.

*   *   *   

Year one started out great. She was sorted into Hufflepuff, did well in all her classes, and aced the exams.

A troll smashed its way through the study room she was in on Halloween, but that wasn’t going to deter her. 

*   *   *   

Year two was a disaster. People were getting petrified, and worse—the teachers had to herd them from place to place, which severely cut down on her library time. She had to study in the common room, which meant instead of a nice, quiet atmosphere, she got a soundtrack of nervous Hufflepuffs.

And on top of that, exams were cancelled. It was a disaster.

*   *   *   

Third year, she started to notice a trend.

First the troll, than the petrifications, and now dementor guards and escaped convicts. What did they all have in common? Potter.

After Black broke in and everyone had to spend the night in the Great Hall, interrupting Jenna’s last minute studying for a test the next day, she took to giving Potter angry looks in every class.

He did not notice.

*   *   *   

They announced the Triwizard tournament at dinner the first night of fourth year, and Jenna almost started crying.

Potter was going to take this one over. She just knew it.

And she was right.

Voldemort rose at the end of the year. She honestly didn’t know what she had expected.

*   *   *    

Fifth year brought Umbridge. She joined the DA because she was going to need a better background in defense, but that didn’t mean she was any happier about Potter.

She imagined it was him she was hexing instead of Zachariah Smith.

But, by the end of the year, focus on her studies was impossible. After Dumbledore left, it was complete anarchy.

Potter’s fault. Of course.

*   *   *   

Sixth year she started volunteering in the hospital wing. She needed a backup plan in case Potter fucked it up.

All seemed quiet, until they brought Malfoy in. It was apparently Potter’s fault, which surprised everyone except Jenna.

Later, she was peacefully studying in a little nook on the third floor when some Death Eaters and some other adults started dueling right under her nose.

This was the worst fucking school, honestly.

*   *   *   

They were calling it “The Final Battle.”

Jenna ran through the hall, dodging in and out of the children evacuating, until she saw him. 

“POTTER.”

He turned, startled. “Um—Jenna, right? We’re sort of busy—”

She grabbed the front of his shirt and hauled him up until he was eye level with her. “If I’m not Minister of Magic by age 35, it is going to be entirely your fault and I’m going to hurt you.”

She dropped him and stormed away, leaving him to whatever he was doing. She had to fight this goddamn war so she could go back to her fucking studying.

*   *   *   

She became Minister of Magic at age 36.

Fucking Potter.

I think I just found the best Harry Potter fanfic

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finnykitty:

Pretty much exactly what reading X-Men is like.

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charismacarpenters:

buffy summers + mood board

~ [dawn] [anya] [willow] [faith]

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clinttbarton:

i don’t want to live in a world where i’m not allowed to enjoy both Shakespeare and Ke$ha.

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princessmalta:

yes yes and yes

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roahnari:

fuckyeahcomicsbaby:

an ancient and terrible curse.

Oglaf makes my fucking life better.

Posted 22 minutes ago
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zoe saldana in valentino

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boywhocriedwerewolf:

#no one was sadder about firefly’s cancellation than nathan fillion

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marauders4evr:

“And Harry, with the unerring skill of the Seeker, caught the wand in his free hand as Voldemort fell backward, arms splayed, the slit pupils of the scarlet eyes rolling upward. Tom Riddle hit the floor with a mundane finality, his body feeble and shrunken, the white hands empty, the snakelike face vacant and unknowing. Voldemort was dead.”

You see, this is how it should have been. I wish that this wasn’t just a behind-the-scene photo. I wish that it had happened like this. Exactly like in the book. Voldemort died like anyone else. And it’s amazing how in the book, J.K. Rowling actually used his name. He was humanized in death. And I wish that they had shown that, instead of showing him do an imitation of the Corpse Bride:

Because it’s really important:

Tom Riddle was humanized in death.

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your-average-oddity:

spoookybones:

mr. sulu, plot a course for ‘as far away from my responsibilities as possible’ yes warp 10 would be great thank

raise the shields - the shields of procrastination. great

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iworkfornickfury:

dearjacquelinee:

sometimes i think i miss high school and then..this is pretty accurate

one time i was in class in middle school and i was eating a beef jerky slim jim and the teacher said “stop eating that unless you have enough to share” so i pulled out a box of 200 slim jims (from costco of course) and the teacher fucking confiscated it.